Okay, I've had a car here for three years and I still don't have a system for alternate side parking. This week I sat in my car for an hour and a half because my block is Mon/Thu 8:30–10, and every nearby street was already lined up by 8. People just double park with their hazards on the whole time? Do you actually move and circle for 90 minutes, or do you grab a spot the night before and just eat the occasional ticket? Trying to figure out if there's a real move or if it's just chaos every week.

Oh man, I've been waiting for a thread on this! Have you tried the DOT alternate side parking map? It's not perfect, but you can zoom in and actually see which side is which day. The real move, in my experience, is to treat it like a mini appointment. I'm in a Tue/Fri zone, and I move at 7:30, grab a bacon egg and cheese and a coffee, and sit in the car until the sweeper goes by. Then I park right back in the same spot! But the best hack I've found is parking in a metered spot on a different block during ASP hours — some meters are free during street cleaning on adjacent streets, so you don't have to sit in the car at all. Wait, is that still true? I've done it for months and only got one ticket when I forgot to move back. Have you tried the 'opposite side' trick? You can park on the side that isn't being cleaned, but everyone knows that, so it's a scramble.

Wait, so if one side says 'No Parking Mon/Thu 8:30-10', the other side is usually fine? I thought both sides were off-limits during the same window and I had to go park somewhere else entirely. I just got a car last month and ended up sitting on a different block with my flashers on and got honked at. Do you actually have to wait for the sweeper to pass before you can park on the no-parking side? Or can you just sit there? I'm still confused by the signs — some are so faded I can't read them at all. Also, how do you know which day is which if you're on a new block? The street signs are tiny.

The signs are a nightmare, but here's the basic rule: the side that says 'No Parking Mon/Thu 8:30-10' means you can't park there during those times. The opposite side is usually 'No Parking Tue/Fri' or a different window. But the catch is every other car owner knows that, so good luck finding a spot on the legal side. The real move is to move your car to a different zone that isn't being cleaned that day, if you're near a border, or just sit in the car with your hazards on like half the block. I've done it for years — it's part of the tax of owning a car here. Don't overthink it.

@firstwinter yeah, that's exactly what I did at first. You don't have to wait for the sweeper if you're parked on the side that isn't being cleaned. But you have to read the sign carefully. Some blocks have both sides cleaned on the same day at different times — that's when you're really stuck. The DOT website has a map, but it's not always up to date. I've also noticed that some streets in the West Village have different hours like 11-12:30, which is a whole other vibe.

YES! The two-sided same-day thing is the worst. But have you tried the idle-in-the-spot-and-wait-for-the-sweeper technique? You sit in your car on the no-parking side, no flashers, engine off or on, and wait for the sweeper to go by. Once it passes, you can legally park there for the rest of the day. It's controversial because technically you're still in a no-parking zone during the window, but in practice, the ticket agents usually only ticket cars that are unattended? Actually, I asked a traffic agent once and he said 'Just move when I tell you to.' So it's a gamble, but I've done it maybe twenty times and never got a ticket. You just have to be ready to circle if they come down the block. Also, pro tip: follow the sweeper at a safe distance and then slide right in. It's an art.

@BodegaCoffeeFan that sounds terrifying but also kind of genius. Has anyone ever actually gotten a ticket while sitting in the car? Do they really not write it if you're in there? I did that once on Washington Ave and a traffic agent stared at me but didn't write anything. I thought maybe he was just having a good day. Also, what about double parking with hazards during the whole window? That seems like total chaos, but I see it everywhere. Is that just accepted now?

You can absolutely get a ticket sitting in the car if you're parked in a no-parking zone. The agent doesn't have to ask you to move first — they can just write it. But in practice, if you're behind the wheel and the engine is running, they often skip you because it's more work and they have a whole block to clear. Double parking with hazards is the default on my old block: people line up on the other side, blocking one lane, and sit there for the 90 minutes. It's illegal, but everyone does it. The trick is to not be the outermost car, because then you're the one blocking the traffic lane and you'll be the first one ticketed. If you can squeeze into the middle of the double-parked line, you're golden. Just be ready to move when the sweeper shows up.

So the whole thing is basically a 90-minute social contract. On my street, a line of double parkers forms, the sweeper comes, everyone scatters, then they all circle back and fight for the just-cleaned spots. I've started just going to a parking garage for two hours sometimes, but then I'm paying for parking to avoid a ticket. Is that ever actually worth it? Probably not, but it's way less stress. I know the garage shaming is coming, but some mornings I just want to sleep in.

Oh no, don't pay for a garage! That's throwing money away! The real trick is to find a metered spot on a different street that isn't being cleaned that day and move your car there the night before. Then you don't have to sit in it at all. You just have to be careful about the time limit and the meters starting at 8 or 9. I do this every week: I move my car the night before to a commercial block that's metered but free after 7pm, then I set an alarm for 9:30, walk over, and move it back after the sweeper passes. Have you tried the SpotAngels app? It's not official, but it shows ASP days and you can set alerts. I've used it for two years and it's saved me so many times. Not sponsored — just a fan. The key is knowing which streets have meters that are free during ASP hours. Some do, some don't.

I tried the move-the-night-before thing, but then I had to walk like 15 minutes to my car in the morning and I forgot which side was which and got a ticket because the new street also had ASP that day. I'm still learning. Is there a simple rule for which neighborhoods are less insane? I'm in Bed-Stuy and it's a war every time. Maybe I should just budget for a monthly garage, but that's so expensive. What do people do when it snows? That seems impossible.

Bed-Stuy is brutal. I used to live there and the blocks are narrow, everyone double parks, and the signs are contradictory. There's no simple rule — you just have to learn your micro-neighborhood. The best advice I got was to park on a block that's near a school or a church, because sometimes those have different ASP days or only once a week. Also, if you can get a spot on a block that has alternate side suspended for a holiday, that's a gift. Get the 311 app and set alerts for suspensions. And be prepared to move at 7:30, not 8:30, because people line up early. When it snows, ASP is usually suspended during heavy storms, but if it's not, your best bet is to already be in a legal spot the night before and just leave it there. Shoveling out a spot and then losing it is a whole other thread.

Yeah, the 311 suspension alerts are key. This week I actually waited for the sweeper on the no-parking side, then took the same spot right after, and I didn't get a ticket. So maybe that's the move. It's all a mess, but it's cheaper than a garage if you've got the time. Thanks for the ideas — except the garage shaming, @BodegaCoffeeFan. Some of us value sleep more than a perfect routine.