Okay, I already signed the lease because the light is unreal and the rent was actually below my panic number, but now I’m staring at the floor plan and realizing I have to get my entire life to the fifth floor with no elevator. It’s one of those prewar buildings near 181st and Fort Washington — gorgeous skinny stairwell, two 90-degree-ish turns, and a super who just said ‘don’t block the handrail.’ I have a queen mattress (not a box spring, thank god), a solid wood dresser that I love, a small desk, and 14 boxes of books. My last building had a freight elevator and a loading dock! I don’t know if I should hire movers, bribe friends with pizza, or sell the big stuff and start over. For the dresser especially, I’m terrified of the turns. Do movers actually know how to pivot a dresser around a landing, or do they just chip the corners and say sorry? What’s the real trick for narrow prewar stairs?!

Don't overthink the dresser—if it went in somewhere, it can usually go out. Hire movers, not your broke friends. They do fifth-floor walk-ups all day and they'll wrap the corners. I did a similar move off Jerome and the only damage was to my ego from panting on the fourth landing. Tell them in advance it's a narrow stairwell and count the turns. Have water and Gatorade ready. You'll pay extra for the stairs, but it beats a full day of your people hating you.

Wait, I’m also looking at a fourth floor walk-up in Astoria and I thought my friend and I could just carry everything. Is a fifth floor really that much worse? Couldn’t you put the mattress on your back like a turtle? I keep seeing people do that on moving day. Also, are movers okay with no freight elevator? I kind of assumed they needed one.

big_city_beth, the turtle method is a fast track to a wall scuff and a pulled shoulder on that last turn! Please don't!! DumboSunset, you need to measure the diagonal at the half landing, not just the doorway. A queen mattress is about 80 inches long; if the stairwell ceiling is low at the turn you have to stand it on end and walk it vertical, then pivot by the hinge side. Have you tried using a mattress bag with cutout handles? That's the only reason mine survived a Harlem stairwell. For the dresser: remove the drawers, remove the legs if they unscrew, and wrap it in two moving blankets. The movers will put it on a hand truck and tilt it to clear the nose of the landing. If you DIY, the real secret is one person low, one person high, and shout every move!

RiverdaleRambler, wait — the diagonal at the half landing was the exact thing I was afraid of!! I’m going back Saturday with a tape measure. The dresser doesn’t have removable drawers? Actually they do, but the legs are those little round ones that unscrew; I just checked!! I hadn’t even thought about taking them off, and that probably buys me two inches. Have you tried a mattress bag that doesn’t rip? The ones I saw at the hardware store were so thin. Also, MorrisPark_M, okay, okay, I’ll call movers — do they roll their eyes when you say two turns? I don’t want to be the annoying client who describes the stairs for ten minutes.

Tell them 'prewar fifth floor, two turns, no elevator.' They won't care. They'll care if you lie and the truck blocks the hydrant on 181st. If the legs unscrew, take them off before the movers show up and put the screws in a ziploc taped to the inside of the dresser. Don't be the person digging in a pocket for a hex wrench on the fourth floor. For the books, go small boxes. Nothing worse than a big box of books in a stairwell.

Okay I'm glad I asked because I definitely would have tried the mattress-on-the-back thing and probably died on the second floor. I just did a mini move with a foam mattress in a box and even that was awful, but now I think we had it in the plastic and it kept slipping. Do movers bring their own mattress bag or do I buy one? Also, for the drawers, do they carry them separately or leave them in? I saw someone carry a dresser with drawers in and I thought that was normal.

big_city_beth, a decent mover will have bags, but you can grab a heavy-duty one for a few bucks if you want to protect it before the truck. Drawers MUST come out! A dresser with drawers in is a missile waiting to happen; the drawers shift mid-turn and someone loses a thumb or the veneer gets a crack. DumboSunset, have you tried the 18-inch wide moving box for the books? It's the sweet spot! A full 18-inch box is heavy enough that your legs are doing the work, and it clears the handrail side on those little half landings. Also, take the desk apart as much as it allows. Top off, legs off. You will not regret it.

UPDATE! I did the move yesterday. Hired two movers, removed the dresser legs, pulled all the drawers, and the mattress went up vertical around the second turn like RiverdaleRambler said it would. One corner of the mattress bag ripped on the third floor, but honestly it saved the fabric anyway. The books were the worst — 14 boxes and I thought the third floor landing was going to be the end of me, even just carrying the small ones up ahead of time. big_city_beth, no normal mover should leave drawers in; both of those guys said the same thing about it being a missile! I’m still sore, but the dresser doesn't have a scratch. Thank you all for talking me out of a friend-pizza move!