Okay, I need to know if this is just my building or everyone's. Our basement laundry card reload kiosk only accepts small bills—nothing bigger, no coins, no tap, no app—and the change machine next to it has been dark for maybe three weeks? The super says 'not my department' and the management office says 'order a card online' but the online portal takes days and the delivery locker in the vestibule is always full. So I'm standing there with a laundry card at zero and a pocket of bills the machine refuses. I've tried the bodega on the corner, the pharmacy, the coffee cart—they all say no change for laundry unless you buy something and even then they cap it. Where do you actually go to turn a bill into something the card kiosk will take? Is there a secret bodega with a real quarter stash? Do you just hoard singles from every cash purchase like me? I need a system.

Wait this is a thing? I just moved to a building with a laundry card and haven't used it yet. I assumed you could load it with a debit card like a MetroCard machine. Ours has a sign that says 'no change given' but I didn't realize the machine itself only takes small bills. Does everyone just carry a roll of singles? That seems kind of annoying. Do you have to ask for small bills at the bank? I don't even have a bank branch near me.

I'm in the same boat. Tried to reload mine last Sunday and the machine spat my bill back twice. I thought it was broken until the guy doing his laundry next to me said it only takes certain bills and the machine won't take anything that's been folded too hard. He said you can feed a bill through the corner of the card machine if it's not too crinkled, but that sounds fake? Has anyone tried the 'flatten it against the wall' trick? Also where do you get laundry cards if the office is never open?

bronx_newbie, the flatten-against-the-wall trick is real for old bill acceptors! The machine uses a belt feed and if the bill has even a tiny curl it rejects. I've had success unfolding the bill completely, smoothing it on the warm dryer, then feeding it dead straight with the portrait facing up. But that only works if the bill is one the kiosk accepts. MovingToMaspeth, no tap-to-pay on these older card kiosks! They run on a stored-value card with a mag stripe, and the reload unit is basically an ATM for laundry that only likes crisp small bills. I've started asking for my cash back in small bills at the grocery store self-checkout—it lets you choose denominations sometimes. Have you tried the self-checkout bill-splitting trick? That's been my most reliable source, but it only works if the machine isn't in card-only mode.

Okay that self-checkout trick is smart. I always hit 'card' without thinking. If you choose cash back it lets you pick the bills? I thought it just gave you whatever. I'm going to try it this week because I really don't want to walk into a bank for laundry money. Also do the card kiosks in your building take dollar coins? I have a random stash of those from when the MetroCard machine gave them as change. Are they accepted or do they just fall through?

I tried the self-checkout thing at the big chain grocery on 34th and it would only let me choose between two amounts that were both too large. Not small enough. Maybe I did it wrong. Do you have to buy something specific or hit cash back before the total? Also L_train_lyric, when you say 'crisp' do you literally iron them? Because I have a mini steamer for work clothes and I'm not above using it on a bill if it means I don't have to wait for a new laundry card. Please tell me I'm not the only person who has thought about this.

bronx_newbie, I have absolutely used a hair straightener on a folded bill! Low heat, no steam, a piece of wax paper, one pass. It works but don't make it too flat or the bill acceptor can't grip it. The sweet spot is flat but with a little paper tooth. MovingToMaspeth, dollar coins are a total gamble! Some older card kiosks have a coin cup that takes quarters only, and dollar coins don't register because the weight is wrong. If you hear a clunk and nothing appears on screen, it's just sitting in the reject tray. Have you tried using a phone app for these laundry cards? Some buildings have a sticker on the back of the card with a barcode, but management pretends it doesn't exist. If yours has a barcode, scan it with your camera before you reload.

L_train_lyric wait the hair straightener is unhinged but honestly I respect it. My card doesn't have a barcode I think, just a number printed on the back. Does scanning it do anything? I tried to register it online but the site asked for a building code I don't have. I'll ask the super but he already yelled at me for putting a recycling bag in the organic bin so I'm scared to ask. Also I tried the self-checkout cash back yesterday and it gave me a two-dollar bill. Is that real money? Do the machines take those? I've never seen one before.

Two-dollar bills are real! My grandmother used to put them in birthday cards. I doubt the laundry kiosk takes them because the bill acceptor probably isn't programmed for that denomination, but maybe the bodega will take it? Not for quarters though. L_train_lyric, do you know if the change machine being dark is a 311 issue? Like if the building provides a laundry room do they have to keep the change machine working? Or is that just a nice-to-have? I tried to call the management office and they acted like I asked for a swimming pool.

bronx_newbie, I went down a rabbit hole on this. It's not a 311 issue because a change machine isn't considered an essential service like heat or hot water, but if laundry is listed in your lease or building amenities, and the only way to pay is broken, you can push the management company with a written email. Not that they'll move fast. MovingToMaspeth, a two-dollar bill is real and yes I'd keep it, but don't feed it to the kiosk! The acceptor will reject it and it might get crinkled in the rollers. Also, ask the super for the building code for the laundry app—sometimes it's printed on a sticker inside the laundry room door, near the light switch, not on the machine. Have you looked up high? Half the time it's above the lint trap poster.

I looked above the lint trap poster and there's a sticker, but it's for a different laundry company than the machines? It says 'Scan to fund' and has a QR code. When I scanned it, it opened a page where you enter your card number and building code, but the building code on the sticker was mostly scratched off. I guessed two digits and it said invalid. So close. Maybe I'll ask the guy who's always in the laundry room folding hotel-style. L_train_lyric, have you ever had luck loading a card with the app after the kiosk rejects a bill? Or do you end up just going to a laundromat?

Okay new development: I found a second reload kiosk in the building across the alley. The door was propped open and the laundry room is technically for their tenants but nobody stopped me. Their machine takes the same card and it accepted my crinkled bill! Is this a known thing? Do neighboring buildings often share the same card system? Now I'm wondering if I can just use their machines too when ours are full. Also L_train_lyric, I tried the low-heat hair straightener on a bill and it did work, but my hallway now smells faintly like hot paper and my machine still didn't take the bill until the third pass.

bronx_newbie, YES! Nearby buildings with the same management company or even same laundry vendor often share the same card system. If the card says the same vendor name and the relay box on the wall matches, the reload kiosk usually takes the card no matter which basement you're in. Just don't be obvious about using their machines during their peak times. MovingToMaspeth, for the scratched QR, try zooming on a photo and adjusting contrast—sometimes the first digit is visible that way. Or just keep a folded small bill behind your card in your phone case. I've started treating small bills like a precious resource. I still want a real answer on who actually stocks the change machine though. Maintenance says vendor, vendor says property, property says 'we'll put in a work order.' It's been a month and I'm this close to bringing rolls of quarters from the bank and opening my own bodega.