Okay, this is probably a classic but I'm new to commuting every day and I need a ruling. This morning at 59th/Lex I got off the 6, and the second I hit the top of the stairs someone just stopped dead in front of me to check his phone. Full stop, like he'd reached the summit. Then by the time I got to the N/R platform, a couple was standing right in front of the open doors before anyone could get off. Which one are we supposed to hate more? I feel like both should be illegal but I don't know the official New York ranking yet.

Top-of-the-stairs is worse. Door blockers are annoying, but at least you see them coming and you can shoulder past as the doors open. The stair guy is unpredictable, especially if he's got a suitcase or a Big Gulp. You can't see around him until you're already on top of him. My move is a short 'coming through' before I even clear the last step. Say it early, say it loud, don't apologize. Also never make eye contact after.

Thank you for the 'coming through' idea. I tried just stopping behind a woman on the 7 at 74th/Roosevelt and the whole line behind me acted like I was the problem. Do people actually say excuse me out loud? I always thought the rule was to suffer in silence and then maybe mutter something to your friend. I haven't worked up to yelling at the door blockers yet either. Is that a skill you just develop or do you have to be born here?

Door blockers are the reason we can't have nice things! The painted arrows are RIGHT THERE on the platform! You stand to the side, you let people off, then you get on. It's not complicated! I'm not even mad at tourists anymore — it's the people with earbuds in who saw the same sign every day for years and still push right into the doorway. They need to bring back those little 'let customers off first' floor decals. Have you tried the 'exit with purpose' move where you walk off the train like you're late for a bus? It creates a lane, but it's dangerous if someone is mid-swing with a tote.

This is exactly the kind of thing I used to fume about before coffee. If you need a minute to regroup after the stairs, step hard to the right like you're pulling over on the highway. There was a good thread a while back, 'Early sit-down breakfast near Grand Central that isn’t a hotel lobby or a pastry cart?': Early sit-down breakfast near Grand Central that isn’t a hotel lobby or a pastry cart? It helps me avoid the worst of the platform crowd entirely. I'd rather wait at a counter and glide in after the rush.

Update: I tried the 'coming through' thing at 59th Street this morning and the guy actually stepped aside, then dropped his croissant. Not my fault, but I felt bad for a second. It did work though. I said it a little too quietly at first and nobody moved, so I had to repeat it louder. Is there a Brooklyn version of this? I'm in Manhattan mostly but I feel like the stairs there are narrower and the stopping is more random.

I'm still figuring out the turnstiles, let alone the stairs. What's the rule when someone stops immediately after swiping to put their MetroCard back in their wallet? That little zone between the turnstile and the stairs is only about two feet deep and they just park there. I've bumped into someone and they told me to watch it. But where was I supposed to go? Do people treat this different at big stations like Fulton or Times Square?

Yeah the post-swipe parkers are the sleeper pick for worst. Especially with OMNY now, people tap and then just stand there watching the little screen like it owes them money. Move first, investigate later. On the 7 it's also the people who stop to watch something on their phone at the exact spot where the stairs narrow. You don't need a 'rule' for every station — just don't be a wall. If you're not sure, pick up your bag and keep moving.

Oh I have a whole mental tier list! Top-of-stairs stoppers: A-tier villain. Door blockers: A-minus. Post-swipe parkers: A-plus because they block the fewest exit routes but they're so confident about it. Escalator left-standers are another level, though. If you're not walking up, stay right! The left lane is for the racers! Have you tried the two-step fake like you're going left and then swinging right to break through a stair crowd? It works about half the time but you feel like a running back.

Wait, escalators have a fast lane? I thought people just stood wherever. That explains why a guy in a suit almost took my elbow off this morning. So is it always stand right/walk left, or only during rush hours? Also Jay, telling me not to be a wall is helpful but I think I'm still a wall sometimes. How do you know when you're the problem? I don't want to be a top-of-stairs person on accident.

Stand right/walk left is basically a city law, but nobody enforces it except briefcases. You'll learn. And firstwinter, if you have to ask whether you're the wall, you're probably not the wall. The real walls are the ones doing it on purpose while filming a story. The wet marble stairs after rain with a phone stopper at the top? That's the only time I actually say something salty. Otherwise I just go around with the little sidewalk nod.

Reporting back: I said 'excuse me, behind you' at Fulton Center this morning and nothing happened, but then I added 'coming through' and a path opened. Felt unnatural but I did it. Also I stepped to the right on the escalator and got passed by a teenager with a guitar case, which honestly felt like NYC. Does the same apply on the stairs, like stay right if you're slow? Or is that just for the subway escalator?

Okay I'm keeping a note in my phone: don't stop at the top, don't block doors, don't park after swiping, and stand right/walk left. Today I made it from the 6 to my coffee cart without yelling, which is growth. Thanks for the rules. I still think there should be a black-and-white sign every ten feet, but I'll settle for the coming through method. Maybe next week I'll tackle the grocery-cart-on-the-sidewalk crowd.