I'm a month into having a car in Bed-Stuy, and I still can't figure out the cone thing. On my block there’s a bright orange traffic cone sitting in an empty spot most mornings, no construction anywhere near it. Is that someone actually holding the spot, or is it just abandoned debris? If alternate side parking is cleaned and someone leaves a cone, can I legally move it and park? I don't want to start a block war. I just want to know if this is normal.

Normal? Oh yeah. It’s not legal, but it’s a whole religion in some neighborhoods. The rule is vibes, not traffic code. If it’s in front of someone's house they've probably been doing it for years. You can move it, but then you have to sit there and watch your car for a week. I’m not saying don’t. Just know the cone didn't get there by accident.

People act like a cone is a deed. It isn't. But also, the person who put it there has nothing better to do than check on it. In my old block, somebody moved a cone and got hit with a note that said 'enjoy the space, friend' and a Slurpee cup inside the gas cap. Not dangerous, just weird. If it's a real DOT cone, I usually leave it. If it's a cut-up bottom of a mop bucket, I treat it as litter.

Okay so it’s more about block politics than actual rules. That makes sense. Follow-up: does the claim expire? Like if the spot’s still coned after two days with no car ever taking it, is the whole block just supposed to walk around it forever? I saw a folding chair and a cone together this morning and genuinely couldn’t tell if it was street furniture or a spot-saver.

I moved one once in the Slope because I genuinely thought it was trash from a school project. The next day my car had a sticky note on the windshield that just said 'don't.' No broken glass, no scratch, but it made me nervous enough that now I don't touch anything that looks like it might belong to someone's granddad. Is this a car-owning New York thing or just a certain block thing?

Beth, that sticky note is practically a love letter by local standards. Means they saw you and decided you weren't worth the follow-up. If you'd taken a spot a few blocks east you might not have gotten off so easy. When I'm in a new area, I don't start moving stuff until I've seen who comes out for it. Usually it's a guy in slides holding a cordless leaf blower.

I’d say the claim lasts until the next garbage pickup at most. If it’s Wednesday morning and a bathroom trash can with a brick is still in the road, that’s abandoned property. Take a pic, move it to the sidewalk, and park. You don't owe anyone an explanation. But don’t leave it next to your own bumper—put it in front of a fire hydrant or tree pit where it just looks like regular NYC nonsense.

Update: I did it. Last night after nine I moved a cone that had been there since Sunday, parked, and waited by my window like I was in a stakeout. Nobody came out. This morning alternate side was suspended, so I left the car. Thanks for the advice. One more question—if ASP is suspended, is saving spots supposed to be suspended too? Or do the cone people get a pass because the routine is off?

Wait, first_year, that’s such a good question. When alternate side is suspended, the whole logic falls apart because the sweeper isn't coming, so why is anyone moving? I asked a guy on my block and he said 'because I’m home today.' That's not a parking rule, that’s just him. Is there any legal difference between a cone and like a garbage pail? Or is it all equally meaningless?

All equally meaningless. The city could ticket the cone if it wanted, but it won't. When ASP is suspended, nobody's got a valid cleanup excuse, so a cone in the street is just someone’s curbside sculpture. My personal rule: if the car isn't somewhere on the block, the spot isn't theirs. Renters with out-of-state plates and retired guys with three cars will disagree. You just have to decide if one parking spot is worth knowing someone is watching you from a fourth-floor window.