After one too many nights at places that keep the old sign outside and a DJ inside, I want to know: where are the outer-borough dives that still let the jukebox win?

My current checklist, in no particular order:

• A working jukebox, or at least a bartender-controlled stereo that doesn’t flip to a DJ at 9pm.
• A pool table with actual felt, no missing tip chalk, and a cue ball that hasn’t been replaced by a golf ball.
• Cash-only without the ATM being a separate financial event.

Lately I’ve been running into too many half-dives. Last month in Woodside, a genuinely nice old Rock-Ola was unplugged and holding three fake plants. In Ridgewood, a table sat under a stack of chairs all Friday night because it only comes out for private parties. I don’t need themed cocktails or exposed-brick charm. I need low light, a bartender who doesn’t mind you reading the paper, and a table where a missed shot isn’t blamed on the floor slope.

Not looking for Manhattan spots unless they’ve kept their old bones. Queens and Brooklyn preferred, but I’ll go almost anywhere the M or R takes me, or a short bus from it. Bonus if it’s still mostly a neighborhood room before 9 and doesn’t turn into a laminate-floored club by 11.

Where are you all going now?

Honest answer: the spot I still trust is on Woodhaven Boulevard by the park, not far from the J, and it’s called Mac’s? The sign just says BAR. Pool table is level, cash only, and the jukebox is one of those internet boxes but the bartender won’t let people queue up 20 minute-long Phish tracks. It has its own room so you don’t have to play with a crowd watching. Bathroom is basically a closet and the dice cup is held together with tape, but that’s the trade.

Woodhaven_W is right about the Woodhaven spot, but if you come down Flatbush/Ditmas, there’s a bar on Cortelyou that has a pool table in the back and it still takes quarters for the table. Jukebox has the touchscreen thing, but they don’t lock it after 10, so you can still play actual songs instead of the DJ. Cash only at the table, but they take cards at the bar, so you can avoid the ATM if you’re buying a round anyway. It gets crowded with parents from the neighborhood, which is either a plus or a minus depending on how hard you want to swear after missing the 8.

Everyone talking Queens/Brooklyn like Manhattan died. I get it, but you’re sleeping on East Harlem. There’s one on 116th just west of Third that has no pool table, but the jukebox is a real deal from the 70s and the guy will restart it if the crackle is too bad. Cash only, but the bodega next door gives cash back without making you buy a second Gatorade. Not great if you want pool, but if you’re doing checklist item one and three, it’s worth a stop before 9. After 9 it’s a different room and the DJ does show up, so don’t ignore the clock.

Oh I have been waiting for this thread!!! If you can get to Bay Ridge, you have to try the pool table at the back of Sean’s over on 5th Ave near the hospital? I won’t say it’s tournament level, but the felt gets redone, the rails are clean, and the owner actually oils the pockets. The jukebox is digital but somebody loaded it with a weirdly perfect mix of old doo-wop and 90s punk, and nobody skips your song unless the bartender hates it. Cash only, but there’s a deli two doors down that lets you break a fifty without an eye roll. Have you tried it? Also ask for the little plastic stool if the tall chair is taken, it matters!

Good stuff so far, and I’ll add these to the list. @BayRidgeBakes, I haven’t been to that one, so I’ll fix that soon. For the Bay Ridge spot, is the pool table in the back room or is it one of those situations where you’re cue-stabbing a stranger’s elbow? I’ve played too many games in a hallway.

@Woodhaven_W, Mac’s is exactly the kind of thing I’m after, especially the no-Phish-marathon rule. If a place has a separate room, that bumps it up. @Flatbush_Fi, Cortelyou can sometimes turn into stroller central, but that’s honestly fine if the table’s level and the jukebox doesn’t reset every time someone tips. @EastHarlem_E, I’m not anti-Manhattan in principle; I’m anti-bouncer-on-a-Tuesday. The 116th place sounds promising before 9, and the bodega cash back is a genuinely useful detail.

One thing I should clarify: I don’t mind an internet jukebox as long as the bar doesn’t disable it at night. The “now it’s a DJ” flip is what kills me. A dive should have one volume, not a 10pm spike.

YES! This is my lane. If you’re ever out near Rockaway or even Ridgewood borderline, there’s a place off Myrtle that has an actual 45 jukebox, not touchscreen, and the owner keeps a little box of spare styli under the bar. The pool table is a bit tight against the wall for one corner shot, but that’s part of the charm. They also have a chalkboard for who’s next instead of people slamming quarters on the rail, which I appreciate. Have you tried the jukebox at the old spot on Cypress? I think it’s still loaded with nothing but 80s salsa and Joy Division.

Okay, new to this whole thing and this thread is great. I’m in Dyker and mostly just walk to whatever is closest. I didn’t know cash-only bars were still a big thing. Last weekend I went to a spot on 13th Ave, ordered a drink, then found the pool table needs quarters and I only had a card. Had to go into the bodega and buy a pack of gum just to get change. Is that normal? Also, is it weird to go alone with no game? I just want to sit and watch people play, but maybe that’s frowned on. Thanks for the recs, I’m writing them down.

DykerNewbie, bring fives and singles. Don’t buy gum at the bodega just for change. Also nobody cares if you watch, just don’t lurk by the jukebox. If you’re solo, grab a stool at the bar and wait for a game. Someone will wave you over eventually.

@RockawayRider, if that Myrtle spot still has a real 45 box, I’m there. Most places ripped those out years ago because the repair guy retired. I remember a place in Bed-Stuy that had a working Rock-Ola and a pool table you had to jack up with a matchbook under one leg. Owner put a sign on it that said 'no drinks on the table, no excuses.' It turned into a restaurant. Painful.

For DykerNewbie—watch first, that’s fine. If you want to actually play, just call next and don’t be too quiet about it. The coin thing is standard at the older spots. And don’t put your whole wallet on the rail; quarters only, nobody needs to see a card.

astoria_arch, if you’re making a list, add the one on 116th as 'before 9 only.' After that the jukebox goes off, the lights go up for no reason, and a guy with a laptop sets up in the corner. Still cash only but the vibe shifts from old man bar to bachelor party. Not the worst, just know what you’re walking into. Also DykerNewbie, one more thing: don’t apologize for watching. Half the regulars learned by watching.