Hi all—hoping someone has cracked this before. We’re trying to do my mom’s 70th birthday dinner, Saturday at 5:30, eight people. We’re based in Dyker but meeting in Jackson Heights/Elmhurst because one sibling is coming from work. Requirements: my sister is vegan, my cousin has a serious peanut/tree-nut allergy, and my 2.5-year-old will only eat plain white rice (maybe butter). Mom wants a real tablecloth, but not formal. I keep seeing Jackson Diner and Samudra mentioned. Is either actually workable, or am I asking for a miracle?

Samudra is the more workable of the two, but you must call ahead—do not just book online. It’s South Indian vegetarian, so the vegan part is easier: dosas can be made with oil instead of ghee, idli are generally vegan, and steamed rice is obviously fine. The nut allergy is the trickier part. Standard South Indian chutneys often contain peanuts, cashew paste, or chana dal fried in peanut oil. I’d ask whether they can provide plain coconut chutney or just a side of tomato chutney, and whether the sambar and potato filling have any nut contact. Jackson Diner is more Punjabi/North Indian and uses cream, butter, and cashew paste fairly heavily; vegan and nut-allergy simultaneously becomes complicated.

For a toddler, ask for a plain basmati rice bowl and a side of unsalted cucumber. They won’t blink. The room is casual enough that a short pre-dinner meltdown won’t ruin anyone’s evening, but Saturday 5:30 can be crowded. Request a table by the wall, not the back room if they’re seating large parties near the buffet/steam area. Make clear it’s a birthday and you need a high chair.

One caveat: Indian kitchens usually cannot promise zero cross-contact for nuts, even if the dish has none. If your cousin’s allergy is airborne or very sensitive, you may want to avoid any place with nuts in the kitchen. But for most, a manager who can walk you through the prep is a decent sign.

Samudra dosas! Yes! Have you had the mysore masala dosa? It’s spicy, so maybe not for grandma unless she wants heat, but the regular masala dosa is perfect. Ask for it without ghee for the vegan sister—usually they use a lot of ghee on the griddle, so you have to be explicit.

And OP, DO NOT let the toddler near the peanut chutney! But plain rice is easy there. Actually ask for curd rice on the side for yourself, it’s so good—but it has dairy, so separate it from the vegan plates. If your cousin has tree nut allergy, ask whether the coconut chutney is processed near cashews; not every place keeps them separate.

Has anyone tried their uthappam? I’m obsessed, but I think it might have onion/pepper triggers for picky eaters. For a group of 8, I’d order a few plain dosas, an idli plate, thali for the adults, and let them bring extra sambar. The sambar usually is vegan, but ask about asafoetida if your sister is strict.

A quick add: “vegetarian” is not the same as “allergen-safe,” especially in Queens Indian restaurants. I’ve had good luck at Samudra, but I’ve also had a manager tell me one thing on the phone and the line cook do something else at pickup. For a sit-down birthday, go a day early or five minutes before your reservation, ask for the manager, and confirm the nut protocol in person. That also gives you a chance to scope the table setup.

If the cross-contact question leaves you uneasy, another option nearby is Pio Pio on Northern Boulevard. It is Peruvian, not vegan-centered, but it handles large multigenerational groups well. The nut allergy is easier there? Actually, peanut oil is not standard to my knowledge; ask. The vegan sister would be limited to rice, beans, avocado salad, maybe plantains—fine but not exciting. The toddler gets plain rice easily.

For your mom’s “tablecloth but not formal” request, Samudra is more utilitarian. If she wants a proper birthday feel, bring a small centerpiece or ask for one of the booths, not the middle two-tops pushed together. Jackson Heights is great for this, but no one should pretend it’s a banquet hall.

Thanks, this is really helpful. I called Samudra this afternoon and the person who answered said nut-free dishes “should be okay” but they can’t guarantee the kitchen. Is that just standard NYC caution, or should I be more worried? My cousin carries an EpiPen, but she eats in restaurants if they can tell her what’s safe.

Also, for the toddler: if we bring our own little container of plain rice? I know that sounds crazy, but would a sit-down place be annoyed? We’d obviously order him an idli or something too. This is my first time organizing a group dinner here and I don’t want to be the problem table.

For the phone answer, I’d treat “should be okay” as a starting point, not a plan. A manager who can say “we’ll use a separate pan, no peanut oil, no cashew paste, and I’ll flag the table” is the minimum you want. If they won’t commit, I’d pick another place—your cousin’s evening shouldn’t depend on a busy line cook guessing.

One thing nobody mentioned: at Saturday 5:30, any restaurant with a buffet or steam table will have nuts in positions you can’t control. Samudra has plenty of made-to-order items, so stick to those and ask them to hold the chutney tray. If you want a backup with more physical space, Seva in Astoria has a separate dining room feel and is used to vegan requests, but it’s farther. The toddler rice question is normal—most places won’t charge or care if you bring a small toddler serving, especially if you’re ordering for the rest of the table, but ask before opening it.

If you’re open to outdoor/backyard seating for a different celebration, there’s a good earlier discussion at East Village backyard bar after 11 on a Wednesday — does one exist or is it all sidewalk crush? about East Village backyard bars after 11—not helpful for grandma’s 70th, but useful for the adult half of the group later.

Just reading this as someone with a nut-allergic kid and a vegan sister-in-law, and this is basically every family dinner for us. We once tried a Thai spot in Elmhurst thinking it would be fine—never again, peanut in sauces you wouldn’t expect. I’m saving the South Indian recs. Do they have high chairs? My kid is older but my sister might bring a baby. Also, is the Mysore masala dosa too spicy for someone who thinks black pepper is hot? I might try the regular one.