Had one of those mornings where two separate two-wheeled irritations presented themselves, and I want to see how people rank them.

At 8:10 on 34th Avenue, a rental e-scooter came up behind me on the sidewalk, no bell, moving fast enough that I had to step aside. The rider was looking down at his phone and only swerved when I said "sidewalk!" He missed me by maybe a foot, then went right back to the middle of the sidewalk.

Then at 8:25 on Crescent Street, a Citi Bike rider was coming the wrong way in the protected bike lane — head down, earbuds in, one hand on the handlebar, the other holding an iced coffee. He almost hit an older woman who was legally crossing with the light. She had to step back. He didn’t say sorry; he just yelled "move."

So I’ve been thinking: which is worse?

I usually put wrong-way bikers in a separate category because they’re moving faster and they appear where you don’t expect them. But the scooter on the sidewalk is invasive in a different way — it’s in the pedestrian space from the start.

For me, the ranking is:

1. Gas/electric delivery mopeds on sidewalks
2. Wrong-way bikers in protected lanes
3. Rental scooters on busy sidewalks
4. Regular e-bikes running lights

But I know people who’d swap 2 and 3.

So what’s your hierarchy? Is it about speed, wheel size, delivery urgency, or the type of person doing it? Am I giving Citi Bike riders too much credit just because I expect them on the street?

Okay sorry what exactly is salmoning? Is it just riding against traffic? I moved here in June and I swear I see someone on a green Citi Bike going the wrong way down 2nd Avenue every single morning. I keep thinking I’m the confused one.

And the scooters on the sidewalk in Midtown are wild, but they’re at least slower than the mopeds. Am I allowed to yell "sidewalk!"? I always chicken out.

I’m with you on the mopeds. Those delivery moped dudes park on the sidewalk outside my building and then ride down the block with one foot out like they’re on a Jetski. Citi bikers are annoying but they’re mostly just careless. Scooter renters? Half of them can’t ride straight, but at least they’re not carrying a giant insulated box.

My hierarchy is delivery e-bikes/mopeds first, wrong-way bikers second, scooters third. If you want a real solution, I just walk on the building side of the sidewalk and don’t move. They always swerve.

Flatbush_Fi, that’s a good point about the cargo box, and I probably underweighted it. I should clarify: by gas/electric delivery mopeds I mean the ones that are basically small motorcycles with an insulated bag, not the pedal-assist guys who are at least moving at bicycle speed.

The issue with the wrong-way Citi Biker is that they’re in a lane that’s already narrow and often has pedestrians stepping into it to avoid sidewalk scaffolding. I’ve seen exactly the scenario you describe: someone in a protected lane going north on a south-bound stretch, and a pedestrian checks only for south-bound traffic before stepping in. That’s the injury risk.

For firstwinter, yeah, "salmoning" is just riding upstream against the flow, mostly borrowed from cycling. If you want to call them out, a loud "wrong way" usually works better than "sidewalk" because it names the problem. But I’d only do it when I’m not also stepping into traffic. And no, you’re not confused — 2nd Avenue is particularly bad in the mornings.

I just started riding a Citi Bike to work and now I feel guilty. Is it still wrong-way if you’re only going half a block to the next street? I saw someone do that on Madison and I couldn’t decide if it was safe or insane.

Also, do you guys actually use the bell? I try to use it and people just look up at their phone like I’m rude. Maybe the scooter people are the same people who stop at the top of the subway stairs? That’s my #1 actually.

Nah Beth, half-block wrong-way still counts, especially on Madison. That’s how you end up on someone’s hood. I’ve lived near 4th Avenue for years and the worst are the Citi Kids going from the Atlantic Terminal station down the sidewalk because they’re scared of traffic. If you can’t ride in the street, you shouldn’t rent a bike.

And for the record, the bell is a lost art — nobody hears it because they all have ANC earbuds. My only move now is to walk in the street-facing half of the sidewalk and play chicken. It works until it doesn’t.